Victoria's arrival

My first real view of our baby girl. They wouldn't let me see her right away because they'd taken her over to the NICU to work out the junk in her lungs. Here I am in the recovery unit with her NICU cart. They had to check on me every 15 minutes or so to work my uterus back to a normal shape and make sure I wasn't bleeding out or having any problems with the incision. It was hard to see her so "hooked up" but we are glad to be in a day and age when they can bring us a healthy baby girl despite having a rough start.

A proud new daddy.

Some kangaroo care and extra lovin from an exhausted mommy.

Our growing family.

V Day

Thoughts from a new daddy:

There aren't very many moments that redifine our lives. Today is one of those times. For time and all eternity the David and Kristine Clays are now 3 in number. We really didn't think she was coming this quickly after mutiple doctor visits identified a complete lack of dialation, and Victoria's stubborn refusal to drop. On monday the 13th, the doctor decided in light of Dave's imminent return to Iraq, inducing was now an option. We went to the hospital that night to prep for the next day's induction. The first night we started with such high hopes, not knowing the emotional rollercoaster awaiting the next day. After a contraction-filled night and little sleep, we induced the next morning. The pitocin (synthetic oxytocin) brought on hard labor for 14 hrs. At the end we found Kristine had only dialated to a 3 or 4 and the epidural did not work. In order to get a little girl out we had to do a C section. Once the decision was made Victoria was out and in our arms in about an hour or so. (as you will see) She has lots of beautiful dark hair and great color. She was 8lbs 5 ounces and 21 inches long. Kristine says she looks a lot like her father. Victoria was having some trouble breathing and was taken to the NICU, but is now breathing very well. She likes to cuddle up next to her mommy for extra warmth and loving. Thankfully both mother and daughter are healthy and strong. With Victoria's size and weight, it is no wonder why she didn't deliver before. She wasn't going down because she really didn't fit down there. She is a wonder and a blessing. We are so incredibly happy to be able to see and hold her. She is our miracle, and thank God.

Almost there...

*I had prepared this blog post back in my 39th week (the end of November) and didn't finish it before Dave came home so it kinda got left behind... and once you get behind it makes it hard to make additional blog posts!*


Here are some pics from the WONDERFUL baby shower Kathy, Nicki, and Megan hosted for me in November.

Victoria's initials embroidered on a gorgeous purple blanket. From Dave's co-worker in Iraq. Thanks Natalie!

The cake. As always, Kathy does great cake decorations and it was yummy too!

My 38 week pic:

And the 39 week pics:

Well I must say that this week has definitely been a rough one. Every day I think my belly couldn't get any bigger and, guess what, every day somehow it ends up larger than before. I'm very front-loaded and awkward and my back gets more and more angry with every ounce I gain though I know it's important and the baby needs this time to grow those last layers of fat to get her through the upcoming winter snows! All the same, I'm admittedly ready to be a mommy for reals and be done with the whole belly business.

Saturday I witnessed my own pregnant clumsiness...and paid the price for it too! Kathy had invited me to come down to Auburn and see Harry Potter with her. It was fun and we went to an AMAZING and authentic Mexican restuarant afterwards. While we were there, we discussed what I wanted to do for my mom when she gets here and we talked about the bed that Nicki has since she replaced Connor's bed a little while ago. She suggested I head over and visit Nicki which I thought was a great idea.

I had a great chat with Nicki and then went upstairs to see how she'd upgraded Connor's bed. Well, on the way back downstairs, I managed to slip and fall flat on my butt and slide a few steps before coming to a seriously embarrassing stop. I sat there kinda dazed and waiting for the pain in my backside to subside enough to stand up while Nicki rushed over to see if I was alright. I was immediately worried about the baby but didn't say anything as I didn't want to worry Nicki any more than I wanted to think about how worried I really was. After a minute I got up and despite already feeling the goose egg (well more like a goose LINE) grow on my right cheek, I managed not to cry and to say my goodbyes and head back to Camillus.

Walking to the car I realized that I'd hurt my ankle too but I thought it was probably just the shock and would go away by the morning... Again, I was more afraid that I had hurt the baby or that I'd go into labor and it would all be my fault that Dave missed her birth. I cried and prayed all the way home where I got online and was able to see my wonderful husband barely waking up on the videoscreen. As he calmly asked how I was doing, I broke down into a fresh wave of tears and told him in all my anxiety what had happened and that I was feeling contractions even while talking to him. He reminded me to take things easy and that it was just an accident and not to feel bad if the baby came before he got here. I put some ice on my ankle and managed to get to sleep with Dave's reassurance that we'd get someone to bring me the sacrament and give me a blessing the next day.

Sure enough I had a very hard time walking the next morning though I knew my ankle wasn't broken as I could easily put weight on it and it only hurt when I moved the wrong ways. Casey and Bryan came over to give me the sacrament and also volunteered to bring me dinner Sunday night. It was sincerely touching and wonderfully comforting to have them respond so quickly and cheerfully in my time of need. I asked Brittany to come look at my ankle and wrap it, which she did after we had a wonderfully candid discussion about marriage, the pressures of dating, the sexual frustrations of abstinence, and life in general. As I calmed down throughout the day and took time to rest and hopefully heal a bit, the contractions disappeared, I felt the baby moving normally, and no blood appeared to say there were any problems. I had an OB appointment the next morning which further confirmed that everything was alright. Big bruise on my butt, smaller and more painful bruise on my ankle, but happily cushioned baby continuing to grow.

So, as my body gets more and more frustrated and weak with the demands of pregnancy, my heart and testimony are strengthened by the generosity and thoughtfulness of those around me. I had numerous texts and Facebook posts of support, and even an unknown sister from the ward offer her daughter to come over and clean my house! I gratefully took her up on that offer today and have 2 clean bathrooms and vacuumed carpet as a result. :) The point is, I am increasingly grateful to see how the Lord is watching over me and my family--especially our growing little girl. I'm so glad the fall wasn't worse and I'm humbled to see how people really care for me to offer assistance.

Now on to a few more days of waiting and the VERY long-awaited arrival of my wonderful handsome husband. I continue to pray that this little one will wait long enough for her daddy to welcome her into this world and so far she seems to be cooperating and understands how important her patience really is. 3 more days to being reunited with the love of my life and an unknown number of days--yes days--until we officially become parents.

Married with children (OK just 1 child...on the way...)

So no new pictures for now...just some thoughts I wanted to make sure I recorded while this baby girl is still INSIDE me and not demanding my every waking moment's attention :)

First things first: some pregnancy updates. I'm now 30 weeks along and feeling more and more awkward with my belly weight. Getting up from a sitting position is almost comical and getting up from the floor requires me to go to all fours and then swing myself up. I can't bend over without bending my knees (luckily Peter is patient with me when it takes multiple attempts to get down and click his leash on his collar!) and I can only see my feet when I move to the side or lean my head forward. And my belly button is no longer an "inny" but rather nonexistent.

The past couple weeks were really hard because I had severe heartburn that was causing vomiting...I actually lost a little weight which didn't make me happy knowing that I need to be putting on the most weight during this third trimester, I had to sleep sitting straight up and then only got a few hours of sleep, interrupted by mad dashes to the bathroom. Luckily, my doctor's office suggested what I now know to be a MIRACLE drug--Zantac. For the first time in weeks my heartburn was under control and I felt like a new person after finally getting some sleep.

Little Victoria Rose is SUPER active at night right before bedtime and periodically throughout the day. Her latest favorite spot is the right side of my rib cage. I guess she got bored from her boxing matches with my bladder and decided to go for a bigger challenge that didn't give in so easily. She'll stick her foot up in my rib and just leave it pushing there for what seems like FOREVER. I can even push from the outside and feel her foot there in the way. I keep trying to videotape her movements so I can send them to Dave but they're really hard to get clearly on tape :(

In other news, Dave and I have had some wonderful discussions about relationships in general and our relationship in particular...I've always believed that a healthy relationship requires frequent "check-ins" where you cant talk openly about where you think you are as a couple, if your expectations are being met, need to be changed, etc... and with the computer screen being the lifeline connecting us, we've had some really wonderful opportunities to improve our communication and work to keep close to each other regardless of our locations or the different ways we are spending our days. So I'd thought I'd share some of our learning moments.

* As the old addages teach us, marriage takes work. While love can be an incredibly motivating force to help people stay connected to each other, we think that many divorces occur simply because one party or the other quits working to demonstrate and deepen that love. Or, the ways that they demonstrate their love aren't the ways the other partner understands love or aren't the ways the other partner expects to be loved. It's really sad to think that people originally drawn to each other by sincere love end up hating each other because they didn't work to communicate enough during their marriage.

* Similarly, marriage requires humility and a WILLINGNESS to work. Even if you don't end up actually working on things as much as you'd like, as long as you are WILLING to reach out to your partner and be humble about your shortcomings, there is always room for forgiveness and reconciliation. No union can survive if a partner has "checked out" and refuses to try to work anymore.

* Marriage is a sacred institution in part because of the opportunity it provides for parenthood. I really believe that parenthood is a calling even though the possibility is biologically granted to everyone. I can't understate how much I've learned to appreciate the complementarity of man and woman over the past few months as the things that I prioritize in preparation for parenthood aren't always the same things Dave does. And they come together only as perfectly as the two parents choose to work together and use their individual strengths to make up for each other's weaknesses. I am so immensely grateful to know that our children will be born under the covenants Dave and I made with God in His temple and will come home to both a mommy and a daddy who love them. Of course there are single parents, grandparents, extended family, adopted parents etc that do fabulous jobs raising their families and righteously as well. I just more fully understand the IDEAL of a two parent household more than I did before getting married.

* Finally, we just keep learning more and more about how much we truly love each other. Knowing that we are thinking about each other and supporting each other every day helps us stay positive and really use this time apart to grow together rather than just work to make the time pass. We share our daily experiences so we keep up-to-date and continually feel like we are a part of each other's activities. We play games together over the internet to pass some down time together and it's really beautiful to see that we can talk to each other for over an hour every day and never grow bored of our conversations or find ourselves searching for things to say. I still really miss being able to physically communicate (some of the things I miss most are feeling him roll over in his sleep next to me, holding his hand when we'd say prayers, having his hand on my knee while he would drive, and when I would give him a HIJAH--basically a bear hug to knock him over and pin him down on the bed where I could tickle him) but I am learning how powerful and meaningful other modes of communication can be. From using inside jokes and songs in our email exchanges to finding websites we want to share with each other to news stories we discuss together, we work hard to spend quality time together and end up always looking forward to the next time we get to talk.

So, basically, life is good. I don't have any really exciting trips or projects to report. And I don't mind. I'd prefer our uneventful backgammon games a million times over to a short-lived luxury vacation or grandiose purchase. The daily routine of taking care of Peter and trying to keep myself fed and the house clean continues to take the majority of my energy. And what's left over I use to tell Dave about my daily routine.

A LOOOOOOONG-awaited update of our Victoria Rose

So, as mentioned in the previous post, YES we are expecting a little bundle of joy this upcoming December!! Our "mimu" (pronounced mee-moo) is growing big and strong...strong enough to jam her head into mommy's side and box with mommy's bladder. It's been so fascinating to feel the baby getting stronger and stronger as she grows bigger. The first movements I felt reminded me of indigestion and I sincerely couldn't tell the difference between my typical 'stomach chat' and the baby. But, the movements have significantly increased so I can clearly feel distinct punches, kicks, and roll overs... especially at night just when I think I'm exhausted enough to actually fall asleep.


I've been honestly shocked at the multitude of changes affecting my body. I guess I naively thought that pregnancy was mostly a belly affair...but I've learned my lesson! I'm going to spare you the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy for the so-called "morning" sickness symptoms aren't really worth repeating. But there are other things that I've learned also come with pregnancy. For you mothers out there in bloggerland reading this, these symptoms won't seem like anything unique, but I want to record them before they cease to be novel to me:


* EXHAUSTION--isn't it supposed to be the newBORN baby that keeps you up in the middle of the night and makes you tired?? Why does the whole tired thing have to start now??

* Seriously strange dreams and frequent dreaming.

* Cravings--thankfully they haven't come often or unbearably strong, but there are the occasional foods that refuse to leave your mind until acquired and snarfed down.

* wider feet--not swollen, just bigger.

* bleeding gums--even when just brushing but guaranteed to gush every single time I floss.

* "baby brain"--let's just say I have to write things down more often and my poor piano students are getting used to their teacher repeating herself.

* Overheating--it doesn't help when we go through 2 official heat waves with weeks of temperatures in the 90's, but I have felt every climbing degree SO much stronger than I usually do. Especially since returning from Paraguay, I've been much more acclimatized to the heat, but having a living oven inside me has turned me into a hermit hiding under the air conditioner, leaving only to keep my puppy from peeing inside the house.

* And, of course, increased emotions. I can't say I've had any verifyiable "mood swings" but I have felt my emotions sink lower and soar higher than usual. As you'll see in later posts, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what matters most in life to me and being a lot more sentimental about things. I don't cry at life insurance commercials (yet...) but I do laugh harder at stupid jokes, sigh more at romantic love stories, and yell at the news channel a little louder.





If the symptoms themselves weren't enough evidence that something incredibly new and different is happening to my body, here are some prego pics for you all to enjoy:




The 26 week sonogram. It amazes me how technology has evolved that a little wand attached to a screen and some sound waves can introduce me to my growing child before she makes it out. I had to go back for a follow-up sonogram after news that I had a placenta previa. But, while I was there, I asked the technician to do a double-check of the gender to help Dave feel more secure to tell his friends we were actually having a girl. Thankfully, no surprises. We have a princess on the way.

16-week pictures after I first began to "show". I was still in class at the time and surprised one of my colleagues with news that I was pregnant--she thought I had a digestive issue because I would absent mindedly be rubbing my tummy much of the day.



Here's 20 weeks and my section phase of "popping." I had a student's mother do a double-take after her 2 week vacation to walk in and see that I had, indeed, popped bigger.

Finally, some almost-26 week pictures. Yeah, it's a LOT more obvious that there's a baby and not just extra flab in there!

I have a fantastic friend, Angela, who is also getting ready to welcome her first little one to the world. She's due in less than 2 weeks and I hosted a baby shower for her at the end of August. It was SO fun to look through and choose decorations, invitations, favors, games, and prizes. Her mom helped organize the food and her sisters worked hard doing setup and take-down. We didn't have the turnout we had hoped for, but it was fun nonetheless and I definitely enjoyed helping her celebrate her pregnancy in the midst of my own. We snagged this great shot of our bellies--Angela won.

Finally, some more proof that I really am pregnant--I've repeatedly craved Texas RoadHouse rolls and made the staff laugh when I walked in and asked if you could order JUST rolls with their yummy cinnamon honey butter. No steak. No burgers. No sides. Just rolls. To my delightful surprise, not only can you order rolls to go, but they include the yummy butter or you can even buy the butter as a separate tub. Thanks Texas RoadHouse for being prepared for crazy pregnant women like me!!

Thanks everyone for your patience in not hearing a peep from us in more than a month. We're increasingly excited to have our little girl (and be done with the pregnancy thing for a while!) which also means we get to actually spend two weeks in the same physical location. The deployment continues to tick down in days apart, though every time I see my wonderful husband on the Skype screen I can't help but long for this whole ordeal to be over. If nothing else, the baby gives us a constant supply of interesting conversational material as we both learn about the miracle of parenthood and our own processes of preparation to take on this responsibility. While the timing isn't what we had originally planned, we continue to see the hand of our Heavenly Father helping us with what we need and teaching us in ways only He can. We are blessed to be entrusted with one of His precious spirits and are very excited to share the adventure with all of you!!

The baby bump is a-growing!

So I know this is a long time coming...I might get into the blogging habit some day!

Dave and I are extremely excited to be welcoming our first mini-Clay to our family sometime this December. At 21 weeks, I'm feeling surprisingly good--constantly exhausted and increasingly uncomfortable--but good. The first trimester was a nightmare and I learned very quickly just what "morning" sickness was all about. I will never understand how people could intentionally make themselves throw up because I have never felt so miserable in my life. Luckily, the second trimester is treating me much better. I'm also able to take more naps since graduation freed me from daily classes.

In a general update, I've returned to teaching piano lessons--which I LOVE. I only have 7 students (including 1 that just got promoted to an early intermediate level!) so I'm not exactly making a fortune or working all the time, but it keeps me happy and decently busy. I've also returned to sewing and am trying to work on my VERY limited skills to help me make some baby stuff. It's hard right now since we don't know the sex yet, but I'm diving in anyway!

Dave is doing well, considering the distance and the monotony of his desk job. He's been incredibly supportive and interested in all the minute changes happening to my body and our lives. I'm beyond grateful to have a great husband beside me to experience this adventure with me--even if only through Skype.

Here are some pics from my graduation from Syracuse University at the beginning of July. It was fantastic to have my parents visit for the weekend. They got to see where Dave and I have been for the past year and the places I lived since coming to Syracuse. We spent a day on the lake too and enjoyed the 4th of July fireworks from the vantage point of a boat! From the good food at Dinosaur BBQ and Erawan's thai food to our quick visit to the Corning museum of gladd, it was a great weekend. My parents said their dogs seemed like giants compared to Peter when they got home :) He's still growing too but definitely more of a lapdog. Marc and Kathy were great hosts for our graduation dinner too where my folks got to meet the extended family. I'm so grateful for the chance I had to get an education that I can now use to teach our children to appreciate teh world around us. I may not be able to make a career as I had once envisioned, but I know that the skills and info I learned in the classroom will make me a better mother in our home.

You can see the beginning of my baby bump. This is approximately 18 weeks. I've "popped" since then and will post some more pics when I take some that I like :)

Flags over Al Faw

Dave:  So here we are at another palace.  This time it is Al Faw palace, which is the presidential palace where Saddam met other dignitaries.  It is completely covered inside marble and has huge pillars.  Al Faw palace is the headquarters for all US forces in Iraq.  Its basically where all the generals hangout.
    

One of the traditions of the miilitary is flag flying.  The flag is an emblem of the country we defend and stands for the ideals and freedoms we seek to uphold.  Some members carry flags with them to fly where ever the military takes them and have been flown in many countries.  Others are flown and given away as a sign of respect and gratitude for support.  We flew over a hundred flags up this little flagpole on the roof of the palace.  Later we recieved certificates sign by General Odinero which certified the flags had been flown over USF-I HQ (US forces Iraq Headquarters) and commended whoever they were flown for, for their support of troops here.  I was actually suprised General O signed them himself.  It was a nice touch.    

Here is one of the palaces affectionately known as "The Juicer."   All these pictures were taken on the same day.  It was clear and blue when we started, but as you can see in this picture a sand storm came in a made it all grey and extremely dusty.

Here is just another shot of the lake around the palace. 

This is me sitting in the throne of the big man himself.  It was a gift from another country and has very ornate work all over it.  If you ask me, its big enough for both me and my queen to sit side by side. But something tells me that wasn't Saddam's style.

I wish I had a picture to show the constuction of many of the other building here.  It is interesting.  The majority of the insides of the walls are just brick and concrete which don't seem to have enough mortar.  Outside of the brick is a layer of rebar and attached to the rebar is a thin layer of finely cut stone. The effect is that the buildings look very ornate and well made.  In comparision to castles and other monuments of old though , the buildings here seem to be lacking the depth and strength of the structures made with solid stone.  Concrete is nice and cheap, but it nevers turns out as nice as stone.  I guess the same could be said of people too.  In the end whether we can weather the test of time depends largely upon what we are made of.